W.e.f next Feb onwards.

Well, ah gong has the last laugh always. Whatever he plans for me to do, it can only benefit him first, then if it also benefits me, good for me. If it doesn’t, too bad for me.

If ever one day I’ll leave ah gong, I know that he has trained me well. Oh well.. Well enough for me to survive out there. Knowing WHEN to do WHAT. How to prioritize myself, my life, and my work.

I realised that this is something that no wise men can comment enough. If the person don’t pick up this, things will never change.. no matter how/who/when/what. UNTIL that person wised up himself and start doing the right thing.

Many locals complained that many jobs are taken away by foreigners. But without the existence of foreigners, will the locals take up those jobs in the first place? Don’t complain about no apple when you yourself won’t eat apple.

I’ve seen many foreigners who are hardworking and had contributed their money, their effort and time, indirectly had made this place a better place. I’ve also seen many lazy locals who don’t contribute and yet make hell lot of noises about foreigners. The Rules has been fair to all, those who chose to spend their efforts for the better of this place, they have every right to enjoy the fruits that they sow. Likewise, those who chose not to do anything, they deserve all rights to enjoy nothing. So to make this place a better place… Kick those lazy locals out of this place.

Get off me all you.. stresses. I deserve to be pampered. I deserve a rest. I deserve a treat. I deserve to smile. I deserve to laugh. I deserve to enjoy. And God deserves myself to be at my best. So get lost you.. Stresses!!!

Looking around me in N U S, I’m proud to say that those graduates who had worked hard for their degree, all deserve a pat on their back.. Just for today.

The time has come for you guys to enter into the working world in full force, to experience the stress and excitement of working.

The pure satisfaction of reaping the fruits sowed by individuals, doesn’t end on your commencement. It starts from it. The qualifications you have gotten, isn’t an achievement when you enter the working world. Those, are the stepping stones you have stepped on and can take you to greater heights.

Once again, congratulations to all graduates. All the best.

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Without Him, I would not have experience true love and had known my Hubbie and gotten married. Without Him, I would not have pressed on with all the trials and challenges surrounding me. Nowadays, I try to complain less and pray more!

Without Him, I don’t think I can function at all. Yet it is so easy to replace God with so much worldly distractions. Isn’t it sad? Shouldn’t believers do some self reflections now?

It can take a lifetime for some to realize.. all that they are and have, were blessings from God Himself.

I urge all believers to take a step back to notice for themselves, there wouldn’t be ‘have been’ or ‘have had’ humbling moments, lessons learnt that made us strong for worldly challenges.. if not for Him.

The worldly mannerisms seemed like cowardly actions if I am to really.. do a comparison now. Take drinking for example. (My new boss really is an alcoholic!) Drinking excessively – when you think that bad situations won’t change and you feel bad about it and so you drink. All those ‘efforts’ in drinking, if people would just spare a moment to put faith in God. Then there won’t be so much space for bad consequences to grow.

As for the non-believers, whether you believe or not, He has been there with you all these while. While you think that you earn all those achievements, all by yourself, think again. Even a fire needs a spark to start. Where does this source come from? How did things even get started?

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If God wants me to improve on my performance ranking for this year, who can be against it? By faith & by His grace, I believe that next year I will be relieved from this highly time consuming job and be posted to the shore, somewhere near my home!

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This world seemed much to offer. Beautiful people, beautiful pets, beautiful plants, beautiful countries, beautiful ways & money.

God seemed cold, distant, quiet & unreachable.

Have you ever wonder why?

What can cause us to think this way… Nothing but ourselves. It has been our choice to choose something else but God. These actions, eventually become the drive to our subsequent actions. We, unknowingly, had left the seat beside God, created that distance from God, stopped speaking to Him, & chose to reach out to things other than Him.

We had chosen not wanting to be deeper in love with God.

Here’s something that I learnt recently: CSDFGN.

C – Consistency in your actions towards God.
S – Sacrificing time, finances, worldly fun.
D – Discipline your mind & actions.
F – Focus on Him & less on the world.
G – Grace is something we should call upon daily and not to be taken for granted.
N – Non negotiables we should have, to create a boundary to safeguard ourselves.

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That is why I live
That is why I move
That is why my heart can not go on without You
That is why I sing
That is why I cry
That is why no other love but You will satisfy

Just to stand beside You knowing
Promise that You’re never going
Never leaving, always holding
Holding my hand

That is why I live
That is why I move
That is why my heart can not go on without You
That is why I sing
That is why I cry
That is why no other love but You will satisfy

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I was reading The Shack. Its been a long while since I last have time and mood to enjoy a fiction story. I learnt a lot of things that I believed God has spoken to me. Just wanna share some here:

What has affected your pride, should not affect your love.. Unless you allowed it.

When God work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies, it doesn’t mean He orchestrates the tragedies.

Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors.

Sometimes tears, are the best words the heart can speak.

***

I envy the man in the story who can eat, drink, and even sup with the Lord. It made me teared during the reading, fully understanding the pain that he had struggled with, something that I believed all of us are facing it.

The author had expressed out clearly the struggles of a man & the answers of Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, and God (The Trinity).

Now I feel that I can too, become the child I never was allowed to be. Addressing God as Papa! I hope to bear in mind that in Love, there shouldn’t be any need for authority, obedience, or even expectation. To really understand what I’ve just said, one really needs to read The Shack.

What can I say. I can only say I’m very thankful and feel very grateful to God for loving me and giving me love. I feel being cherished by Him as a child. Now he has also given me a person to love – My Husband. He has taught me how to love and to be loved.

All of us needs love. Acting tough can only last for a while. Male or female, we all yearns to be cherished. The sense of being protected, taken cared of, having our needs seen to by someone, genuinely.

All these years (yes, I’m no longer as young as I would like myself to be!)… honestly, Valentine’s Day  has never been a day that I feel that it is special to me. I never feel that I need love. Until… My Husband came strolling into my life. Honestly, this feeling it is like, every day is a Valentine’s Day to me.

So, enough said. I just wanna thank God, for letting me see love from His angle, and that, totally changed me, for the better.

Till this very fine day, my boss went through this one-to-one talk with each one of us (o r f i c e r s). I started asking myself: Have I worked hard in this system? Did I really work hard? For sure there must been times I had.. and times that I didn’t. So at this age (YES. It is a crucial chapter now) to ask myself, will I really want things to continue like this.

This good colleague of mine, why I say good (well, nearly almost all the time I need help from him to settle issues for me), is because he has seen the frustrated me at times when I am passionate to clear the s-t-s for the system and yet I couldn’t also because of the system, and he has been very honest with me (cos he has been in the system for 22 years of his life). Finally he has submitted his E a r l y R e l e a s e today, and it took him 5 years to planned for his alternatives before he submit that form, which could, effectively remove him from the system, remove him from getting his well deserved big b o n u s in April.

As he shared to me his rich experiences, I can’t help it but to be shocked, of how much of a coincidental that my feelings and thoughts are similar to him. And, mind you, I have only a mere 3 years of actual working in the system. Excluding those v a c a t i o n attachments I returned to work during my university days. Not to even count that pathetic 1 year of painful training that I had went through (greatest credits to my mom for supporting me physically & mentally)  - to this poor little gal’s mind just exposed to harsh, vulgar, strict, expectations, leadership.. all drilled in me in 365 days.

I get paid timely, no mistakes in the amount given to me. Lots of benefits & welfare.. often either no time to enjoy or no strength to have fun. And lots of pains and hurts at times too. Can I really survive well in this system? Have I been putting a rough brave front to tahan all those things that I actually detest? I am no super gal. I’m just a normal being. And I realised, my emotions is very very much really so woman. I might have a huge appetite like a man or frequently yawn towards shopping & dressing up. But I get hurt super easily. And positive thinking can only last for a few years… I am slowly believing this.

Maybe this is just part 1. There might be a part 2 coming up. Let’s see.

Strangely then…

My mind started thinking of new lyrics -

Deck the Fats

Deck the fats with lots of shaking,

Fa ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta.

Tis the season for nice body,

Fa ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta.

Head for gym our big fat body,

Fa ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta.

Start today we will eat properly.

Fa ta ta ta ta… ta ta… ta… TA!

- Walkergal