Many of my good buddies are leaving the system. They know what they want in life. Well, at least that is what I perceived.
Till this very fine day, my boss went through this one-to-one talk with each one of us (o r f i c e r s). I started asking myself: Have I worked hard in this system? Did I really work hard? For sure there must been times I had.. and times that I didn’t. So at this age (YES. It is a crucial chapter now) to ask myself, will I really want things to continue like this.
This good colleague of mine, why I say good (well, nearly almost all the time I need help from him to settle issues for me), is because he has seen the frustrated me at times when I am passionate to clear the s-t-s for the system and yet I couldn’t also because of the system, and he has been very honest with me (cos he has been in the system for 22 years of his life). Finally he has submitted his E a r l y R e l e a s e today, and it took him 5 years to planned for his alternatives before he submit that form, which could, effectively remove him from the system, remove him from getting his well deserved big b o n u s in April.
As he shared to me his rich experiences, I can’t help it but to be shocked, of how much of a coincidental that my feelings and thoughts are similar to him. And, mind you, I have only a mere 3 years of actual working in the system. Excluding those v a c a t i o n attachments I returned to work during my university days. Not to even count that pathetic 1 year of painful training that I had went through (greatest credits to my mom for supporting me physically & mentally) - to this poor little gal’s mind just exposed to harsh, vulgar, strict, expectations, leadership.. all drilled in me in 365 days.
I get paid timely, no mistakes in the amount given to me. Lots of benefits & welfare.. often either no time to enjoy or no strength to have fun. And lots of pains and hurts at times too. Can I really survive well in this system? Have I been putting a rough brave front to tahan all those things that I actually detest? I am no super gal. I’m just a normal being. And I realised, my emotions is very very much really so woman. I might have a huge appetite like a man or frequently yawn towards shopping & dressing up. But I get hurt super easily. And positive thinking can only last for a few years… I am slowly believing this.
Maybe this is just part 1. There might be a part 2 coming up. Let’s see.
Posted on January 27, 2011
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