I never knew that I could survive from bad smell until I met you. (woah!)
To be pretty honest here, your breath smells like glue. (wahh!)
Everyone sweats. Even I do. (*nods*) But oh come on, surely you know that at least after you sweat, you change your top or even better, take a shower right? (*shakes head*) Yeah, you change your top, but always wear back the same top. You changed out of the uniform and wear BACK the same top. (really!) And when you do shower, you come out with stinky feet. (oh! those long overseas trips!) That fateful long trip, you even told us that you have foot rot. If that is the case, how come you still choose to wear back the SAME PAIR of socks?!
I really wonder how you can drive a car to work and never thought of putting in fresh clean clothes. (???) How come you can care so much details at work and so ridiculously ignorant to your smell eh?
I never wanted to air out my grievances and I always stand on neutral ground. But so many times already. (Your lingering awful vapour!) Surely you can feel that everyone is trying to tell you that you need to be more concerned about your own hygiene… (I’m totally clueless by you) Everyone knows. (Nobody, nobody, but YOU!)
Lastly, I don’t wanna leave behind this impression that you are an out-cast here. Honestly, you haven’t reached that state yet. (But please don’t test our patience anymore) Sometimes people just seemed to joke about your smell in front of you, please… they are not joking. IF you are really that observant (as you always claimed) … when they do that, I have never laughed before. I just want you to know, I am a serious worker here. Serious in work to reach your high expectations and also serious that I really can’t stand your smell. Many people are clueless of how your wife can stand your smell. I have no answer to that honestly. Even though you always irritate me with your unreasonable and mind throbbing and impractical questions and I always clash BIG TIME with you at work, I am pretty much a simple kind soul at heart. If I can really have the chance to ask you a question before I get posted out, I will want to help you out and definitely I’ll ask you this: Have you REALLY ever, EVER realised you stink? Please, no need to answer me. Just a simple gesture will do. THANKS. 
Regards,
Your Surviving Colleague.
